I’m looking forward to setting up the basement fitness area soon. I’m itching to workout! But I think I’m getting sick. Boo!
I want to rip out all the plant life in the front yard…. already planning my spring garden in my new home.
It’s gonna be glorious!
The floor is lava!
Yesterday morning I was sexually harassed on my morning commute.
I won’t go into detail. But I was made to feel extremely uncomfortable. I attempted to ignore the young man, then I told him to leave me alone, to no avail. No one around me reacted at all. I was getting the feeling that it was going to escalate. (Note: I’ve been spoken to before, been cat-called, etc. It’s not my first rodeo and I’ve taken public transit my whole life. This was different. I immediately felt something was not right. You feel it in your gut.)
So I got up before things could escalate and I went to see the driver of the bus. I explained that I was being made extremely uncomfortable and that I was starting to feel scared. I was not shy about it. And by the way, I was quite vocal and loud when telling him to leave me alone. Again, no one reacted.
Disclaimer: If you are a woman in that same situation, and I see you telling a male - repeatedly - to leave you alone, I will step in and help you. I promise. Whether I find someone else because I feel incapable myself or whether I step in on my own. I will not let you feel alone in a bus full of people.
The driver was very nice, but he said that he could not do anything unless the male physically touched me. I was clear that I got up before it got to that. But he apologized that he couldn’t do anything. He assured me that if he came to the front of the bus and bothered me he would throw him off with his bare hands. I stayed at the front and talked to the driver until my stop. The driver made sure that no one got off with me. He also kept looking back in his mirror to make sure he wasn’t coming up front etc. I thanked him with a smile and left. It’s nice people like that who really made me feel okay with the rest of my day.
I went into work and immediately told the security guard about what occurred. I clearly made his day. He is a super nice guy and all day he kept updating me that he was keeping an eye out and would walk me wherever I needed to go. I’m thankful for people in my life like that.
It sounds like a not so terrible incident. It wasn’t awful. I was confident and asserted myself but my personal space and comfort were destroyed for that portion of my morning. My rights were taken away. And it happens to women everyday. It made me angry. He stared at me. Intently. So I stared right back and got a good hard look at him.
And I called the police when I got to work. The nice lady on the phone told me they can’t do anything. I assured her that I understood that but I felt that I needed to report it nonetheless because the incident made me feel so uncomfortable, more so than any other random guy who starts to talk to you on the train. He was odd and there was something in the way he was speaking that gave me the chills. She told me to go to my nearest police station that day, file a report and give a description because she said “you never know if he might do it to someone else or he might escalate and do something worse”. My exact thoughts. This is how guys like that start.
So after work I went to the police station, with my very wonderful friend who came for moral support, and filed a report and gave a description. The young officer was very nice. I told him I knew that nothing could be done but that I wanted to report it nonetheless.
I’m glad I did it. I’m proud of myself.
But I’m still angry. I’m angry for all the women who deal with this stuff on a regular basis. The women who have no choice but to take the shitty bus route, who have to take the bus at night because they have to work a night shift.
But I’m also thankful for my coworker who encouraged me to report it, for having an awesome security guard at work who has my back (and really wants to beat the shit out the dude), for having a wonderful friend who came with me to the police station (which is really intimidating!), and for having a boyfriend who was worried sick and wants me to carry around a purse full of weapons now.
Next time a male invades your space, makes you feel uncomfortable, be vocal about it.
Next time you see a woman being made to feel uncomfortable by whomever, be vocal about it. Step in. You don’t have to be heroic. Pretend to be her long lost friend or relative.
That’s all folks.