Packing!

So it’s time to pack everything up. I’m trying my hardest to pack light and I’ve succeeded (I think).  Here’s a little peek into the packing madness. 

These 10oz bottles were a gift from one of the awesome runners I coach. I was so touched that she got them for me. I had been wanting to get them for the race because I usually just carry mini 8oz bottles without holsters and thought they would be comfier to hold and more colourful to bring along. Love em’! 

My mum reminded me of some champagne I got on my birthday last year from a wonderful lady who also happens to be my mum’s good friend. I don’t drink because alcohol tastes gross, but anything bubbly is good in my books. I’m just not really a party girl. Scratch that. I’m NOT a party girl at all but if things go well and I make it out in one piece with a smile I will be celebrating with some of this. Even if it’s just a sip ;)

All of the good luck wishes I received tonight really made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. I’m lucky I didn’t cry! I’m also so lucky to once again be running with an awesome group of people. The enthusiasm is infectious. I love it. 

So since it’s the summer I needed a lighter pack. So I managed to order a nathan vest off amazon that would allow me to carry my phone, camera and a small MP3 player. My handheld bottles will allow me to stash some nutrition and there’s an open pocket in the back of my vest that will allow me to stick a sportshield packet, some tissues, more nutrition and an extra bottle or two. But most importantly my pack has my lucky charm. Does anyone know what that is? ;) I’ve also got a second lucky charm in a pocket - a keychain I got in Arizona which was my first solo vacation and something I’m very proud of because I overcame a huge amount of anxiety to just go for it. 

As I was packing I decided to sit down and look at my box of notes that I collected for my first ultra back in September. It’s weird, this time I don’t feel the need to have those notes with me. I feel just as scared but just a tad more confident. I’m always scared of getting lost, but I’m attempting and succeeding a bit more to keep those fears under control. I opened the box and looked at the notes piled on top of each other. The notes that travelled 53km in one day. The notes that got dirty with mud, sweat, and yes, even tears. And I decided it wasn’t time to read them again. So I closed the box and set them aside for Sunday when I return. 

Math & Upcoming race don’t mix

I have a test tomorrow morning and my studying has not gone as well as I had hoped. I’m good with 2 of the three topics but I just cannot wrap my head about all this goddamn geometry!!! What the hell!? Why do shapes and volumes of these mystical shapes even matter to me? Honestly!? I’m just so bad at visualizing all of this. This piled on top of the anticipation of my race this weekend is just not mixing very well. AND to add to that work is stressing me out. I really really really really need a summer vacation. A REAL one. I’m so tired of constantly be ON. This weekend is going to be lovely being able to tune out and forget about everything. But come next week it’s back to everything. My summer course ends mid-July and I’m going to embrace that month and a half of vacation by doing pretty much nothing but whatever I really want to be doing: gardening, training, coaching, writing, reading, being lazy, cooking. Stress reduction at maximum!!!! That’s the plan! 

I’m wide awake right now when I should be sleeping to absorb what little information I can for tomorrow’s test. GAH. I just hope I can redeem myself from what will be an inevitable failure tomorrow. I checked out what the final looks like and it seems this geometry business is only a small part of the exam. Thank goodness. I really hate shapes. They could at least let us have 3D models or something. I can’t draw for my life which doesn’t help me figure anything out. It’s a piss off because my notes are so beautiful and organized and when we started this blasted geometry section everything is a mess. I hate it. I was swearing and erasing the whole intro class. I was not happy. Give me limits, integrals, derivatives, that shit I can work with. But really!? SHAPES!? I feel like I’m the kid in kindergarten who keeps trying to put the square in the triangular hole. 

Two lovely ladies who are training for their first marathon.  I’ve led numerous group training sessions and have met some awesome people. Each experience is different from the last. This time around I’m super impressed with the focus and dedication that the first time marathon trainees are showing. I’m already super excited for them. I can’t wait for them to experience race day and go through all the thoughts and emotions that come with the territory. There may be ups and downs before the race, during the race, but afterward it seems that as runners we forget the ugly and the moments of bliss propel us forward to the next big goal. How many of us haven’t finished a race and immediately thought about the next one? The scariest thing is to begin something. It’s why the start-line is famous for the nerves, the anxiety. But once things get going it’s all downhill - as in smooth sailing.  I’m terrified for next week’s big race. But it’s not the middle that terrifies me. It’s what precedes the race, the running. I still can’t put my finger on what makes me so mind numbingly nervous. Because once I get going, all I’m doing is enjoying the moment. 
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Two lovely ladies who are training for their first marathon. 

I’ve led numerous group training sessions and have met some awesome people. Each experience is different from the last. This time around I’m super impressed with the focus and dedication that the first time marathon trainees are showing. I’m already super excited for them. I can’t wait for them to experience race day and go through all the thoughts and emotions that come with the territory. There may be ups and downs before the race, during the race, but afterward it seems that as runners we forget the ugly and the moments of bliss propel us forward to the next big goal. How many of us haven’t finished a race and immediately thought about the next one? The scariest thing is to begin something. It’s why the start-line is famous for the nerves, the anxiety. But once things get going it’s all downhill - as in smooth sailing. 

I’m terrified for next week’s big race. But it’s not the middle that terrifies me. It’s what precedes the race, the running. I still can’t put my finger on what makes me so mind numbingly nervous. Because once I get going, all I’m doing is enjoying the moment. 

Marathon jitters

This weekend I’m in Ottawa for the Ottawa Marathon.

Already jittery and nervous…. actually it didn’t kick in until now.

I’ve decided to ditch my Garmin for the race. Just using my timex watch - and only to give me signal to eat on time. But that is all.

My goal is finish confident and feeling good so that I feel ready to take on the 50km at the end of June.

Time to grab some lunch!

Nerves

So it’s begun. It’s inevitable.

Except it’s like 2 months too early. I’m starting to fret at the thought of my upcoming race.

As a group running coach quite a few of my members know what my goals are. I talk about my own training and progress as a way to try and motivate others, and to give people insight into what I do. I find that is how I motivate myself, in part by looking at what others do, reading their blogs etc. I don’t necessarily want to do exactly what they’re doing, but I like reading about it or hearing about it.

The fact that they know means they ask me about it. A lot of the people I coach are training to run their first half-marathon. Or they have run half-marathons before and are dedicated to that distance. Only one or two have done a marathon. So often they ask me about it and their eyes give away the fact that they think I’m nuts. Some ask me about it by whispering, I guess if they speak about it too loud it’s a contagious craziness? Some of them want to know how it felt to do my first ultra.

Of course, my reaction to this is that it’s really nothing. I mean, it is for me. But there are others who do way more impressive things, way longer, or just run that same distance faster. So I’m lame. And then of course after the conversation has ended, my thoughts change to worrying and panic. And that’s where I am now.

Not a good place to be so early on, but I think it has to do with the weather change. My immediate thoughts today as I set off for the run were “HOLY CRAP IT’S HOT.” and “WHY DID I SIGN UP FOR AN ULTRA IN THE SUMMER?!”

Yes it was relatively warm. It was sunny and warmer than it has been lately. This afternoon the temps crept up to 22 degrees celcius.

And I signed up for an ultra in the summer clearly to torture myself. I think that’s the only answer I can come up with.

The nervousness will dissipate and I will get back to studying and forget about what the heck I’m training for until a little later.

Yep.

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